There’s an onion...

There's an onion, and he's studying law at a prestigious college. He's in his third year, and after a particularly tough day, he gets an invite from one of his onion-friends to a party they're having that evening. Being tired and weary, the lawyer-onion isn't sure whether to go, but decides he needs cheering up. So he dresses smartly, puts on his favorite aftershave, and heads over to his friend's. He gets to the party to find it quite a packed affair, and heads over to the bar - fighting through crowds of reveller-onions - to get a drink. As he gets to the bar, he notices in one corner a slightly out-of-place female onion. She looks a bit sad, and being the compassionate onion that he is, he heads over to talk to her.This is quickly affirmed as a good move, as they hit it off immediately; she was abandoned by her friends shortly after arriving, and had been minding her own business ever since, but over a night of drinks and talking, they quickly fall into an infatuation and soon end up spending an oniony night of passion together.When they awake in the morning, they don't find it awkward, and a steady relationship between the two is struck. This lasts a good while, having its ups and downs like any college relationship, but eventually the day comes when they both graduate. The two couldn't be happier! They both get jobs close to one another and move into a flat together.One day, the partner-onion is anxiously awaiting the lawyer-onion at home. She's been ill all day, and checking has confirmed her suspicions. She tearfully - and joyfully - breaks the news to the lawyer-onion; they're going to have a tiny baby-onion together. A shallot, if you will. A few days later, this prompts the lawyer-onion to propose to his heretofore girlfriend-onion. They are soon wed, having a fantastic wedding-day, and husband and wife-onions are on top of the world.The day comes of the birth, and no complications - a tiny, healthy baby onion is born to two proud parents. Seeing this little bundle of oniony love in their arms causes them to fall deeper in love than ever.Over the next few years, husband-and-wife-onions' lives are fantastic. He's prospering at work, she's really enjoying taking some time to raise the baby-onion, and over time the baby-onion grows into a hale and hearty toddler-onion, who then becomes a child-onion.One day, the idyll of the onions' lives is shattered when tragedy strikes.The lawyer-onion (now a partner-onion in a prestigious law firm due to chance and hard work) is at work, and mother-onion is washing dishes and watching her child play in the yard. She glances away to take another plate, and turns her vision back to the yard just in time to see her child wander into the adjacent road and get hit by a massive freight lorry.She screams, runs out, and calls an ambulance. The ambulance comes and rushes the frail child-onion to the Onion Hospital. Being in such a critical condition, he is rushed straight into the operating theatre, and mummy-and-daddy onion can do little but wait outside the theatre hoping for some news. After an agonising five-hour wait, the weary-looking doctor-onion emerges in surgical garb, ready to impart news."So, Mr and Mrs Onion. Would you like the good news or the bad news?"The couple ponder it for a moment, and then decide: "The good news, please."The doctor-onion regards them briefly, and then says, "Well, the good news is we've managed to stabilise your child. The bad news is... he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life." via /r/funny http://bit.ly/2J3Hrcs